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| I had all but forgotten that I even had one of these things until I saw Marki post something about South Assassins. I was so pumped about it that I read all the rules and guidelines. I was really enjoying the thought of it UNTIL I read the part that only CURRENT Parkersburg South High School students could participate in the game. Well, now that I have nothing to look forward to in the next few weeks, I'll get back to being amazed that I remembered that I even had this thing.
I used to post so much BS on here that probably never really mattered. Yeah, I don't plan on typing anything on here because if I want to tell something to someone, I'll do it whether they want to know about it or not. I'd even say this thing is lame, except for the fact that I've never got some random whore trying to add me so I'll look at her and her whore friends on some stupid website. SOOOO...I guess I'll just use this thing to hold information so I wont forget it....like I've always done. BED TIME :D
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| So, if anyone didn't know, I feel that my freshman and sophomore years of college were a huge disappointment for my parents and myself. I suppose that I thought it was some kind of joke. I really could not tell you what I was thinking during the entire ordeal. I would have to say that I wasn't thinking, more likely than not. I graduated from South with a 3.3625 gpa and about a 3.5gpa in my college classes. Over a two year period, I dropped my GPA down to roughly 1.8. Dropping it down to 1.8 was quite easy, but raising it back above 3.0 will be quite a great hardship.
This summer, I have found a new reason to go to college and do my best. I'm not going to college to get a great job when I get out. I'm not going to college to prove to my parents of my friends that I can. I'm going to college to prove to myself that I can do it. I'm proving that I can overcome anything that is put in my path. I'm proving that I'm not a failure as I have been in the past couple years. No one really thinks that I can do this. My parents doubt me and my friends probably do as well.
I'm taking a speech class right now and I really do enjoy it very much. I'm learning to become more devoted to my studies, which is something I needed very badly. I hope that I can take other classes as seriously as this one and devote a lot of attention to the classes that I partake in.
I know that my parents tell me that I need to go to college and do my best or I'll end up working at Kroger for the rest of my life. I know they think that they're making a valid argument to me, but what they don't understand is that I actually enjoy my job. I realize that they may hate their jobs and the people that they work with, but for the most part, I like my job. I like being able to talk with a lot of interesting people. Most of my co-workers as well as customers are nice people. My parents trying to tell me that I'll end up working at Kroger for the rest of my life doesn't exactly play out like they want it to. I know that standing at Kroger all of the time weighs heavily on the pains in my entire body. I know that standing up all the time does a lot of damage to my body, but in the end, I work there because I truly enjoy the job.
Well, I plan on getting an A in my speech class and following that up with an A in my math class later this summer. Tonya and I are going to OWN that class! From here on out, I'm going to be dead serious about college. I'm going to do this for no one but myself. I'm happy 
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| Okay, so I wrote out this HUGE entry only to have it completely erased. I was looking for a song called "I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me. I found the song and the band but not the cd that I was listening to it from. I tried to go back to my novel sized entry, but ALLLLLLL of it was gone  So, I'm going to do a very short recap of it. Christmas sucked....New Years sucked...I paid for college...
I've been disappointed in myself during the past few semesters, but that's all over with. I'm going to make something of myself and show myself that I really am an intelligent person. That will make me feel much better about myself. I'm going to get a 3.0+ so I can get back on the good student discount at State Farm for insurance, so I can get off of and stay off of Academic Probation, and so I can prove to myself that I'm not wasting my time in college.
I'm scared of growing up and my friends leaving me. I'm more scared of growing up and being alone without someone by my side. I realize that I'm not the only person out there that is single and completely fed up with trying to find a decent girl, but since this is my site, I'm going to rant and rave and be all selfish  I want to find a nice, cute, sweet, innocent, intelligent girl with good morals and is striving for a better future. I don't want a slut. They're only good for looking at! I kind of like this one girl, but in all honesty, I don't think I'm good enough. I don't mean good enough as in not worth being in her presence, but more along the lines of morally in line with god. I don't go to church anymore, but that is because I'm tired of people who get drunk and have sex before marriage or cheat on their spouses and what not during the week, but go to church, drop a $100 bill in the basket as it goes around and think they're so much better off than everyone else. It's sad to say, but a lot of people that go to buildings which have CHURCH tagging along with it are FAKE. I like hanging out with my Christian friends. My old youth leader told me that church is not the building, but the people. A church can move to another building and the one once occupied by *the church* could be turned into a strip club. What would be so *religious* about this building now? NOTHING! He said that 2 or more Christians fellowshipping with one another is what church really is. If that's how it is, then I go to church all the time. I'm far from being a perfect Christian. I listen to rap music, which talks about sex, drugs, killing, and has many words that would be seen as highly offensive and not acceptable in the work place, school, or church. I like women...all kinds of women...At least I'm not racist haha...I like hanging out with my friends and doing stupid things.
All in all, I can't wait for college to become more a part of my life. I can't wait to become better friends with everyone who sees me worth their time and not caring about those who *think* they are too good.
I'll finish this another day. I have to finish trig hw now!
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